Are Emotions Truly Irrational?
Hidden Logic vs. Completely Irrational
Are our emotions truly irrational or are they driven by a hidden logic? The internal conflict that arises can be a challenging maze to navigate, leaving many of us feeling lost in a sea of conflicting feelings.
Picture this: a sudden tightening in my body, my heart racing like a runaway train. I feel a storm brewing within me, rising from my chest to my throat. In a swift attempt to suppress any visible reaction, I swallow hard, battling the fear of what might unfold. The familiar script begins to play in my mind, “You’re overreacting, don’t let those tears fall.”
As the internal monologue grows louder, it stamps out my emotional response as if it were a nuisance, dismissing it as illogical. This clash between my raw emotions and rational mind creates a tumultuous storm within me, a whirlwind that feels impossible to comprehend. I retreat, swallowing my feelings once more, succumbing to the relentless voice that echoes, “stop being so sensitive.”
I’ve danced this tango of questioning the validity of my emotions countless times, a sentiment echoed by many of my clients. Can you relate to this inner battle?
By evading my emotions and physical reactions, I inadvertently crippled myself emotionally without even realizing it. This avoidance and lack of self-awareness became a barrier to my emotional well-being. It wasn’t until much later that I began to unravel this damaging pattern ingrained in my daily life. The avoidance had become a safety net, shielding me from confronting my inner turmoil.
I discovered that by refusing to acknowledge my emotions, I was engaging in erratic behaviors instead of embracing what lay beneath the surface. Why? Fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection. I’d explode with unwarranted aggression when under the influence, or settle for toxic relationships in a quest for validation and wholeness. I had lost touch with my true self, buried beneath layers of self-denial.
I blamed others for not understanding me, failing to comprehend my own actions and emotions. I felt weak, shying away from vulnerability, trapped in a cycle of avoidance to escape the discomfort.
From our earliest days, we’re taught not to cry, to stifle our emotions, and to suppress the tears that seek release. As children, we grapple with the dichotomy of expressing our feelings while being met with admonishments to “stop acting like a baby.” Unable to articulate our emotions effectively, we resort to misbehavior, all because we lack the vocabulary to convey our inner turmoil. Perhaps we hailed from environments steeped in neglect or abuse, where vulnerability was a luxury we couldn't afford. Thus, we learned to cloak our feelings, to shun them, and ultimately deny them, for fear that revealing them would equate to transgressing an unspoken rule: “Crying and baring our emotions=BAD.” This internal conflict plants the seed of doubt within us- “Are my emotions irrational or logical?”
As we transition into adolescence and navigate the tumultuous waters of teenagehood, we’re often met with dismissive remarks from adults who downplay our emotional responses as inconsequential. Heartbreaks, betrayals by close friends, these are mere specks on the canvas of an adult’s busy life. Our cries for understanding fall on deaf ears, fostering a sense of isolation and mistrust in our ability to confide in others. The message echoes from our childhood, there must be something inherently flawed within us if we dare to shed tears or embrace sadness. Thus, the conflict deepens, “Are my emotions irrational or logical?”
Venturing into adult relationships, we yearn for the cinematic love stories and profound intimacy we’ve been fed through movies and novels, only to stumble time and again as reality fails to mirror the fantasy. Struggling to unveil our true selves, we guard our emotions zealously, fearing their misinterpretation by our partners. In a bid to shield our vulnerability, we inadvertently push them away, perpetuating a cycle of emotional disconnect known as transference.
It’s no surprise that our partners struggle to comprehend us, for we, too, grapple with the enigma of our own emotions.
The perennial question lingers: Are our emotions truly irrational or merely misunderstood by our logical minds? It’s easy for our rational selves to dismiss emotions as illogical, considering their sporadic nature and defiance of societal norms. The clash between the “irrational” and the “logical” breeds a discomforting confusion, leaving us embroiled in an internal conflict that seems self-defeating. How can we navigate this labyrinth and strike a balance that serves both our emotional and logical selves?
The first step is simple yet profound: ACCEPTANCE.
By logically acknowledging the enigmatic nature of our emotions, we grant our minds a semblance of peace. Simultaneously, by embracing our feelings and experiences as valid, even if they defy logic, we liberate our emotional selves. This act of acceptance is not merely a surrender but a source of empowerment. It reinforces our humanity, unveiling our strengths and vulnerabilities, leading us towards a deeper self-awareness.
When we mask our emotions and stifle our natural responses, we risk building walls that impede understanding and hinder the path to true intimacy. It’s in accepting our emotional intricacies that we pave the way for genuine connections and authentic relationships.
So, why not grant yourself the freedom to be unabashedly human, to revel in the kaleidoscope of emotions that define your essence? I challenge you to take that step and witness the transformative power of self-acceptance. Dare to embrace your emotional self and embark on a journey towards profound self-discovery.